Emotional...

The last couple days have been kind of weird for me. Okay, just yesterday and today. Yesterday, my dearest friend Abby got married. She and I have known each other for 2 years now, and she was the first, really close friend I ever had. We met when I started working at Durfey’s the summer of 2006 and we worked together for a year until I quit in the summer of 2007. Abby and I became very close over that year. We went through a lot together. And we continued our friendship. When she text me at 11pm my second night home for spring break, and told me she was engaged, I cried. Like broke down sobbing. She’s my first really close friend that is getting married and it’s a weird feeling. When she text me it was this crazy overwhelming swirl of emotions that you would have never thought would accompany your best friend telling you that she’s engaged. I was so happy for her, SO happy. You have no idea how happy I was for her. But at the same time I was jealous, mad, horribly sad… it was awful. Luckily, my extreme happiness outweighed all those negative emotions. But I still cried. I was still having a hard time with my break up two months before. Which is pathetic. But I was. And I was so lonely. I so bad wanted to be her. I didn’t want to admit it, but I did.
So yesterday night, I went with my sister to her reception. Abby looked amazing. So happy, and she and Tony (her husband) were so cute together. After I said hi and gave her a hug, met Tony and all that jazz, Danny and I went to get food, and the whole time I had to choke back the tears. Growing up really sucks. I’m so happy for all my friends who are getting married or who have, and those boys that are going on missions, I couldn’t be more happy for them. But at the same time, it makes me sad. *sigh* Especially Abby. I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s Shaye or Kacie or Shupe.
And on top of all that emotional craziness, today was Aaron’s birthday. When I met him last summer, a lot of things reared their ugly heads. A lot of anger, resentment, and confusion. But then he sent me a letter just after my birthday, that just made everything okay. I don’t really understand how, but it did. So today, I typed up his birthday letter, and really had no clue what to say. I think after every sentence I would stare at the screen and just draw a blank. But I wrote a meager, slightly pathetic letter and will send it off later today. Ugh. Too much emotional craziness for two days. I’m tired.

But on a happier note. Tomorrow at midnight, I’m going to be getting my Breaking Dawn book! Yes! Mom and I decided to go to the midnight opening. The kids actually get to see their dad this weekend. I know amazing huh? So since they’re going to gone, we’re going to to pick up our books at midnight. I’m excited! I just want the freaking book! Then I can get all emotional over something that isn’t real. Very therapeutic.